ArcaMax

SAN DIEGO -- Commencement season transports me back two decades to a graduation speech I was honored to give at a university in my native Central California.

And, as the dad of three young humans -- ages 21, 19, and 16 -- this time of year also inspires me to think about the life skills I want my kids to have and show prospective employers in a job interview.

That is, after all, what many graduates are thinking about on commencement morning: how to land their first job. Paying off student loans isn't cheap.

Before I get to the list, there is some unfinished business regarding that graduation speech from long ago. Looking back, I have a tinge of regret. I left those graduates with the wrong message, and I'd like a do-over. I told the graduates the kind things that commencement speakers normally say. Three themes come to mind: Find your passion, and fight to keep it alive; look out for the less fortunate in our society; and do your part to leave the country better than you found it.

That's not bad. With messages, you can't go wrong with the classics.

Besides, consider the audience. In 2006, I was speaking to members of the Millennial generation who were raised on praise, coddling and entitlement. Their Baby Boomer parents drove them around in minivans with stickers on the back window that read: "Caution: Baby on Board." As if they were precious cargo. The Boomers built safe spaces and gave their kids trophies for merely showing up to the game.

As a member of severely neglected and much maligned Generation X, I can't stomach that sugary nonsense. During my childhood in the 1970's, mom and dad both worked. My tribe and I raised ourselves -- and each other. Gen X'ers are not good at accepting praise because we don't trust it. It's criticism we're used to catching, especially from those self-important Boomers.

Honestly, if you feel the urge to transfer your trauma to a new generation, a commencement address probably isn't the best vehicle. By the time I addressed those millennials from the stage, they had spent their entire lives being told they were awesome and destined for greatness. So I went with the flow.

Having said that, the graduation message I shared back then isn't the same one that I'd hand off today to the Class of 2026. Instead, I'd offer members of Generation Z the reality check that so many of them appear to need so desperately.

Twenty years later, I'm in a different headspace than I was back then. Because I have three kids who are part of Gen Z, the process of charting one's course in life has gotten personal and real.

No more warm baths. It's time for a cold shower. This moment calls for a strong dose of tough love, baby.

Here's the main takeaway: In this life, you're either going to be your own best friend or your own worst enemy.

You'll be the latter if you expect guarantees, think the world owes you a living, have unrealistic goals, and assume your degree is a magic key that opens every door.

You'll be the former if you can discover your own superpowers and display them to the world.

Speaking as a father, I want my kids to have more than fancy degrees. I want them to have valuable life skills, like the 20 that I put down on my list.

No. 1: Hustle

No. 2: Empathy

No. 3: Kindness

No. 4: Emotional intelligence

No. 5: Perseverance

No. 6: Common sense

No. 7: A strong work ethic

No. 8: Critical thinking

No. 9: The ability to change and adjust

No. 10: An openness to different views

No. 11: Integrity

No. 12: The ability to listen

No. 13: The ability to communicate

No. 14: Inquisitiveness

No. 15: Curiosity

No. 16: Professionalism

No. 17: Flexibility in their beliefs

No. 18: The ability to tell their story

No. 19: Enough introspection to build their brand

No. 20: The willingness to move to where opportunities are

Class of 2026, this is your wakeup call. Life is a contact sport. It's going to beat you up and break your heart. That, I can promise you. Nothing will be handed to you on a silver platter. Anything worth having will require sacrifice, persistence and effort. And, in the end, you'll get out pretty much what you put into it.

Strive to acquire these life skills, and you'll do fine. You may not change the world, but it won't crush you either.

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To find out more about Ruben Navarrette and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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